Tens of years

2012.July 9th. Sabah-Taiping. My heart is light. My head is clear. I will come for u my love.We will do it together. If its torture i will cry but tears wont kill. Only time can. Its been a year since this little egg cracked open. 8 months to be exact. How many ten years do we have? How much energy i have left? Think little bird think. Go if ur feet feels like pushing off, fly if ur wings are shining Waste no time. Swim in the open sea, get lost be free then find your way to whr u shud be. Look, open ur eyes big. see the world change while u stay still, see how people pass by. Some, with a purpose, most with none. Live on the edge, dont waste space If u fall, remember humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Dont u call me stupid, dont u dare call me weak. I am strong to do wht i am about to do. I chase my wish. I dare to risk. Put ur two feet in my shoes, loose the voice, walk the path i chose before. walk. Walk. Walk. Walk.walk. WALK I SAY WALK U WALK u walk u walk. And no matter how far how high u get, whats keeping u alive, whats beating against ur ribs will not repair itself, it will still bleed. U try to hold it, to press it tight but nothing. I will never ask for more It couldnt have been better We've had ice creams n chicken chops, birthdays n goodbyes, up cameron n long highways, tennis n books, airports n table talks, laughters n door slams today i am who i am. A thousand apologies will never ease a daughter's guilt But please forgive, please understand, you've found your path your place on earth, you have each other, i have not. For every fathers wish for his daughters is a man to take over And you've lived your tens of years, i have not. A friend asked just in time. Its now or never i realized. A sister showed me then  That happiness is gold n money only steel, so we will use steel to built a home and enter and smear it with gold love songs are not just love songs They were sung by boys and girls Every song has touched my soul I'm fighthing a loosing battle, i cant do this alone, i want to go home. I dont want to wish i've said 'i love you' more I dont want to wish i've given him more hugs If your plane had almost crashed If you've heard tires screech If you're 30 n still searching If ur 50 and u have no stories If ur 80 and you're dying Then u will see the fear i have I am not just a doctor, i am a woman and someone's now Tell them tell them with pride, that i am leaving the crowd for the love of adventure, for the adventure of love and to live a life i can truly say i've lived when i'm old. A choice has been made, the responsibility is all mine.  God shave the queen, God save my ass. Goodnight.